Airplane stories – (Im)perfect Stranger


‘Excuse me, mister, I think you are in my spot there, 25F?’ Never in my life have I done this. Being persistent about sitting on my own seat on an airplane. What happened after made me think I will do it again gladly, next time.

The man looked at me, with his face somewhere between utter bewilderment and -yes- a smile. ‘Well, I’m sorry. I see now. I mixed up the aile and window seats.’ He packs up his bag and stumbles to 25D. And there it is, hovering to my face. A cloud of that musk drunk people have hanging over them. Shit. Drunk people + airplanes = trouble.

I sit down in 25F, my spot (yes!). Flying not being one of my favorite pastimes, I accept the fact that my drunken neighbor with his sunglasses still on (which in hindsight makes me believe he might have been high on something else than alcohol as well…) starts talking to me. And for the next 1,5 hours doesn’t stop. Most. Relaxing. Flight. Ever. Can more drunk, (high), weird old businessmen/women maybe provide me with this kind of distraction during my next flights? Although of course I wouldn’t mind the distraction coming from a hughely attractive Joseph-Gordon Levitt look-a-like. All conversational topics will do. Say for example:

  • A trip to Canada where you rode in the mountains with a mountainbike (this drunk businessman, an Icelander living in Norway had done that once).

  • Insights on local culture in the home country (apparently Icelanders are living their lives with a different mindset due to nature always taking her own course and the people having to cope with that – so much for designing your life, mother nature will do it for you)

  • Reviews on obsure cities in Russia where I have never been and most likely never will (or it was the double tongue of this businessman that suddenly made Moskou sound like Marionskawavja. Which could also have been the case).

  • Complot theories in which you highly believe but which other people you know serve off as utter nonsense. (For example: that Dutch companies keep files on your persona much like the CIA but even more in detail. Like; I can’t even imagine what kinds of details that would involve then, to be honest).

Yes, I like me some rambling done by a perfect stranger while trying to ignore the fact that I’m sitting in a machine that’s flying with 600mph.

What about you, how do you like your airplane travels best?

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